Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Explaining 'Nestor Maronski' To My Two-Year Old

Maria Savva and I recently co-wrote a cracking little novella called "Cutting The Fat". You can pick it up today at Amazon for 99c. It's also floating around as a prize in a number of draws at places like

I won't spoil the plot, but essentially it's about a group of writers who attempt to get a bloody and gruesome revenge against a nasty book reviewer, one who has ruined their careers with his scathing criticisms of their books. His name is Nestor Maronski and he also goes by ol' Nessie (much to his chagrin) or 'the fat bastard'.

So last evening, after the launch of the story on Amazon, my wife asked me about my day. When I was done talking (Well, to be fair, it was before I was finished talking--he's two) my little boy looked up from his roast chicken and rice and said, "Who's Maria?"

Not knowing I would have to seriously skirt the issue of a fat man getting avenged in a bloody and horrible way, I answered his question. And so began a very uncomfortable conversation.

"Maria's a woman from England that Daddy wrote a story with."

"What kind of story?"

"A story about a big, bad man."

"Why he's big, Daddy?"


"He's a big, big man -- like you, Daddy."

"Well. He's bigger than me, actually."

"Bigger than you?"

"That's right."

"Why he's so big?"

"Uh. Jeepers, buddy, you gonna eat your chicken?"

"Uh-huh. Why dis big man SOOOO baaaad?"


"Why he's bad, Daddy?"

"Well. Uh. He did some things that made a lot of people very angry."

"What kind things make peepul angry?"

"Uh. He said something that wasn't nice."

"What peepul do to him?"

"Uh. Well, let's just say there are consequences for the big man's actions."

"What kind 'consee-kences'?"

And with that I told him he could have a cookie if he finished his chicken. The topic of Maria and the big, bad man was forgotten (for now) and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as my little boy devoured his chicken with anticipation for what was promised next.

For those of you who would like to know what the 'consee-kences' were for the big, bad man, check out "Cutting The Fat" at Amazon. Maria and I would both love to hear any feedback. Leave a review, comment or get in touch with one of us and it would totally make our day. 

And, by the way, did I mention my relief actually cost two cookies?


  1. LOL :) Maybe we should have written a children's version too!

  2. Nessie as a kid, being a bully in the schoolyard!

  3. Great post. Thanks for making me laugh today.

  4. Or perhaps as the kid who is very skilled at insulting other kids who get better grades or accomplish more than he could. A fat, socially awkward nerd with a misplaced superiority complex. For research, you could talk to my family about what I was like as a kid. Or Jason could draw on his experiences of working with me as an adult. : )

  5. Thanks, Jen!

    Tyler, it's funny you mention this. "A fat, socially awkward nerd with a misplaced superiority complex." Nestor is basically that kid, but all grown up.

    When we write the prequel, I'll be in touch. :)

  6. Ahh, the innocence of young children! Thanks for the smile today, Jason. And congratulations on the book!

    To everyone out there who hasn't read this one, what are you waiting for? Seriously, it's too good to miss!

  7. Thanks, Darcia!

    (Those little rug rats are too funny, aren't they?)


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